Connection & Intimacy for Professionals

Interested in starting your own entrepreneurial journey in personal development but unsure what to expect? Then read up on our interview with Melisa Keenan, International Intimacy Coach, located in Reno, NV, USA.

What's your business, and who are your customers?

I serve individuals in a high-level, high-touch, bespoke mentorship to access true intimacy in a world that thrives on disconnection so that they can have a full and beautiful life in both personal life and career life.

Tell us about yourself

I craved being a "power couple." I thought that maybe if we could make a bunch of money and impact together, it would answer the emptiness that I felt about our marriage and calm the drive to always do more and be more. But no endeavor that we pursued ever would take off; it was like the Universe was deliberately thwarting every endeavor until there was nothing left to do but look at the glaring mess in front of us. Sitting on the couch one day, mid-afternoon, broke, holding our third baby who had just been born, I was crying to my husband for the millionth time. I said, "our marriage is dangling from a thread," and then looked over at him on the couch next to me, and he was asleep. Something broke in me that day; I shoved the baby into his arms and went to the shower to scream and cry. We separated for six months, and both faced personal demons that had snuck into our lives, my husband's secret addiction that I was blind to, and my own eating disorder that I had deliberately ignored. And we began to heal. A little at a time, things began to change. Slowly over time, I began to really understand that any amount of money or service we could have done through our business endeavors would have merely been band-aids over the massive gap in intimacy that existed. Intimacy or into-me-see with ourselves was non-existent, and intimacy with each other was shaky at best. Eventually, I can remember both looking across the room at each other and saying that we both had no idea that this kind of intimacy and connection existed. It was like, WE DID IT!!!! From there, career and business endeavors took off for us, and we felt so much more in alignment because we were both doing it from a place of wholeness, not trying to fill a gap.

What's your biggest accomplishment as a business owner?

After supporting one client and his wife for a year, I was a little stumped at what was missing. It felt like the clients had progressed so much but had kind of plateaued, and I was scratching my head as to why. Something happened within their family with his adult children, and he asked to set up an additional appointment with me. As he talked about his life, it became clear to me that he had spent his entire life trying to prove to his family and the world that he was a good guy after divorcing a very abusive wife who was determined that he was a horrible person, even compared him to Satan himself and continually accused him of cheating on her. This was all 20+ years prior but still deeply affected his relationship with his children and even his now wife, who is very different than his first wife. I could feel the guilt and shame he was carrying, and I suspected that his chronic stomach and digestion issues, tremendous sweat issues, lower libido, and general anxiety all stemmed from this proving energy that he felt duty-bound to. I told him to list out all the things he felt guilty about, whether he actually did them or was accused of doing them, and then gave him some tools to release those narratives and replace them with something new and more empowering. And we ended the call. The next day, his wife let me know that after our call, he went to her and confessed that, in reality, he did have a single affair with his first wife, a one-time thing. And he had spent the last 20+ years trying to hide it and make up for it, even to his new wife. That secret was going to go with him to his grave. He spent the next several weeks making amends with everyone involved and really opening up to his wife. Miraculously, his libido came back in such a force, unlike it had been in the last eight years since this couple had been together. His gut issues have become a source of his intuition; when something resonates and feels like it is a yes for him, he feels it right away in his gut. But that was blocked all these years by the hiding of this single secret and all it created. Because of all the deep work we had done with them as a couple, they were actually able to increase their intimacy in their marriage through this whole ordeal, rather than decrease and disconnect. But best of all, this man feels free finally from the proving that he has carried all this time, and the world feels exciting and possible again, which is great energy to approach his new real-estate investment and flipping business.

What's one of the hardest things that come with being a business owner?

I am kind of a connection addict or junkie. I love connection, it is my superpower, and it is my happy place. The hardest part for me as a business owner is knowing that I can really support someone, and they do several calls with me but then ultimately decide not to work with me. Often when I follow up with these individuals months later, they haven't done anything to support their intimacy and are in a worse situation. But more than that, I actually feel a lot of disappointment at the loss of the connection that could have been with them. When people say yes to their intimacy, I am truly inspired by how they navigate the challenges that arise, whether in their business or personal life, and it feels like such an honor to be with them as they transform. But when they say no, they say no to me being with them, with all of that.

What are the top tips you'd give to anyone looking to start, run and grow a business today?

Don't try to do it alone. Create referral partnerships, do multi-author books, expand your community, and do masterminds and referral groups.
The continual push to DO it all in order to HAVE it all is a very slippery slope. One even I have to succumb to and get burned by again and again. The masculine energy way of doing things is dying, and the way that you are matters more than all that you are doing. Your actions, strategies, systems, etc., matter. But pay attention to your feelings and values as you go along. Don't sacrifice the things you love for success because often, that also means you are subconsciously sacrificing success as well.
Individuals who are turned on and feel alive and free in their personal life and relationships obviously are more attractive and magnetic in their businesses. If your personal life feels like hell and you aren't doing anything about it, people will feel your inauthenticity in the workplace. Times are changing, and people are becoming more and more perceptive about not just judging a man based on what he shows on the outside. So care for your relationship with yourself and your spirituality, your relationship with your family, and your relationship with your business in their proper priorities. Give yourself time for the things your heart truly loves, and it really is the key to the expansion of your business.

If you love to Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, go back and read chapter 11. He talks about this concept of connecting intimacy and success in business. Most of us just didn't understand what he was trying to say the first time we read it!

Where can people find you and your business?

Website: https://www.melisakeenan.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melisa.keenan.35
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melisa-keenan-intimacy/

If you like what you've read here and have your own story as a solo or small business entrepreneur that you'd like to share, then please answer these interview questions. We'd love to feature your journey on these pages.

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